31.3.11

乌有

努力却换来如此的结果,


这一切,真的值得吗?


18.3.11

迷宫

走进了看不见出口的迷宫。
我,到底何时才能走出来?

12.3.11



8.9级的地震,震动了整个日本。
震碎的人们的心..
随之而来的海啸,淹没的人们温暖的家园..
日本的灾民们,你们要坚强,愿你们能早日重建家园。

无助。无奈

最近还蛮常出现在IJN,为的当然是我的research啦..
前几天的一件事让我感触很深,至今还久久不能忘。

那老太太是那天最后一个病人,
但,眼看已经接近diet clinic打烊的时间了,病人却还没出现。
diet clinic的书记说,病人大概不会来了吧?
由于病人是cardiology patient,我也只好留下来碰碰运气,看看能不能recruit当我的subject...
这时,一个中年男子推着坐在轮椅上的老太太进来了。
老太太看起来很疲惫,脸上那一丝丝的倦意,眼神中的伤感..让我不禁好奇,到底怎么了?
抱歉,那中年人说,刚刚在医生那里有些延误,这是我母亲。
老太太的medical record送到了,翻了翻后脑海里充满了renal failure的字眼,那超出标准的creatine, urea...
是的,老太太刚被诊断出的了肾病。但,她并不知道,而中年人也要求医生不要告诉她。

“婆婆,第一次见dietitian吗?”我问。
“嗯,第一次.." 她说,“我的肾,好像不能用了.." 这时的她,已经热泪盈眶。
老太太似乎也意识到了自己的状况。
我,愣住了。
当下的我,真的很想告诉她,没事的,一切都会没事的。
但是,我也很清楚。这,是不可能的。
这只是痛苦的开始,接着来的是老太太无法想象的重重难关,治疗,饮食控制,洗肾...
对年迈的她来说,这是多么的残酷!




看来我还没做足心理准备,心理建设来面对这一切。
他们说,只要你尽了力,就足够了。
原来,我所能做的,也只是尽量了解病人,给于他们最好的照顾。
对于病重的他们,我所能做到的,只有控制他们的病情,让他们有足够的营养去支撑那艰辛的疗程。
这对我而言,足够吗?

老太太,希望你一切平安。

6.3.11

of MNT labs..

was taking a trip down memory lane just now,
as i was reading my ancient blog posts..
it made me realized how i used to love blogging..
then something inside me lighted up, so i decided to start blogging again!

just to share something that is taking up a huge chunk of my time these days -- MNT Lab..
basically, for each lab, we have a specific topic..
for example: modification of calories and fat, modification of carbohydrate and fibre, modification of protein, etc..

so, in groups of 2 or 3.. we're given a specific case..
and what do we do with it??
we basically go through the information provided, looked up guidelines, MNT management..
browse through journals and articles..
and we start the painful process of calculations..

1st up.. calculation of the subject's energy requirements..
this will be the easiest part..
followed by distributing the calories in to the three main macronutrients -- carbohydrate, protein and fat..
converting calories to grams of each..
converting grams to exchanges..
exchanges to actual food..
planning the whole day's menu..
MANUALLY.. yes, u've read it right.. manually calculating the nutrient composition of the whole day's menu..

it may sound so easy as u're reading this..
but goodness knows how many hours of sleep is lost to this process!
adjustments had to be made for specific nutrients..
the struggle to meet the requirement for each nutrient..
the frustration when the total amount exceeded the allocated..

now, for those who know me, i'm definitely not Ms Nice-&-Polite or Ms Good-Temper..
especially when under stress and sleep-deprived..
thinking back, i truly pity my groupmates...
thanks for enduring my impatience and perfectionism
i'd hate to admit it, but i can be unpleasant and i simply can't accept any sub-standard work..
so i guess they did had a tough time, with me pushing them so hard..
but i don't regret it, just look at the results that we managed to pull off..





but i do promise that i'll try to be nicer though..
perhaps i should just make sure that i get enough sleep every night, that'll probably make a great difference..

anyway, mnt lab may be tough, and it is a tedious bit of work..
but i actually liked it!
especially when i see the end result..
and, we'd have to admit, we really learnt quite a lot this way..

okay then, i still have tons to do.. will update soon.. *i hope*